Relationship Deal Breakers

Relationship Deal Breakers: Are You Dating a Deal Breaker?

It’s the first week of fall — at least that’s what my frosty windshield indicated before I turned on the defroster this morning. What does my windshield frost have to do with your dating life? Good question. Temperatures are cooling off, and against your better judgment, your body is secretly searching for a counterpart to help keep you warm. Autumn is often a time of reflection and we begin to realize who we are attracted to. Relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, so before you rush out the door eager to fulfill the age old fall lovers cliche, remember to check for these notorious relationship deal breakers:

The Small Lair. She might be telling you she’s at the spa, but if you find out that she was actually out to lunch with a male friend instead, something just isn’t right. If she would lie about something this insignificant, what’s to keep her from lying about more important issues in the future? Unless she’s just been practicing her lines for the Liar Liar sequel, lose her.

The Possessor. The ladies all know this guy, the control freak. He just has to be in control of everything and everyone, including you! He’s so possessive he may even get angry when you say “Hi” to people. Say “Bye” to the possessor or you’ll be in for one intense autumn.

The Flirt. Everyone loves the flirt, except their significant other who waits patiently on the sideline as their lover seems to be having a good time with everyone except them. If your fall love is constantly making overt physical contact with members of the opposite sex, you might want to permanently steer clear.

The Abuser. Whether it’s physical harm or drug and alcohol abuse, you can’t fix this one. You aren’t Dr. Phil and you sure as hell aren’t a punching bag (this goes for both sexes). You’ll always come second to the abuser’s vice and there is never a good reason for you to stay in an abusive relationship of any kind.

The Houdini. In college I dated a girl for about 3 months, and suddenly without any warning she disappeared. After several weeks of no contact from her, she finally called back like nothing had ever happened. Luckily I knew it then as I know it now, leave the magic tricks to the magicians and ditch the Houdini.

The Cheater. No real need for explanation here, but you’d be surprised just how many people make excuses for their adulterous lovers. The red flags don’t get anymore obvious than this. If you can keep away from this one, there may be little hope for you this fall.

The Extremist. You went to your parents house for dinner and now suddenly your subjected to numerous accusations. These guys and girls often find that every little thing that happens is worth dwelling on or cry over. They are just overly emotional, plain and simple.

The Intimate Idiot. This person couldn’t find their way around a leather belt. Sex is an important part of many relationships, and these tri-state winters aren’t getting any shorter (or warmer). If you have zero sexual chemistry with your love interest, it may be time  to move on.  The same goes for kissing.

The No Goal, No Job, No Ambition, you get the idea. This person’s carefree nature may be alluring to some people, but remember that without similar goals and motivations, your relationship rocket is doomed before it even launches.

Ex Doesn’t Mark the Spot. He/she might be a 9/10, but if your date is unable to go one night without bringing up their ex, it’s time to X them off your list of potential mates.

Dishonorable Mention: Bad Listener, Spendthrift, The Public Scolder, Smartphone Junkie.

Lifeguards aren’t going to put up red flags when it’s high tide, it’s up to you to know when to get out of the water. Some relationship deal breakers are unique to us specifically. For instance, I won’t date a woman who dislikes AMC’s “The Walking Dead.” Here are a few of your own relationship deal breakers:

Jackie M. (Woodland Park, NJ): Jackie recently told me that she would never consider dating a guy who didn’t like cats. Apparently if you can’t get with the felines, you can’t get with Jackie.

Adam C. (Hoboken, NJ): I caught up with Adam last weekend, he said that his relationship deal breaker was that he would never date a girl who wears Uggs everywhere. It’s going to be a long winter for Adam.

Brock B. (Wayne, NJ): Brock appreciates a woman for her mind, but when one of his latest dates thought Baltimore was north of New Jersey, Brock headed south. Geography matters.

Lauren Z. (Teaneck, NJ): As a keen observer of male fashion, Lauren says no to guys who wear running shoes with jeans. I can’t say I blame her.


Have any other relationship deal breakers that I may have left out? Drop us a line.