Modern Americans seem to be lonelier than ever, and even social media don’t seem to help a lot. Even if you use dating sites for American singles, it can be quite hard to match with someone with similar views on dating, relationship goals, and social roles. In the past, people didn’t seem to care that much about smaller details. Liking each other used to be enough to start dating someone, but it doesn’t seem to be true these days. Let’s look at the main reasons why singles struggle to find someone to date.
Too many choices
More people to choose from is better than fewer, right? Lots of singles looking for someone to date might be a good thing for a picky person wanting to date someone perfect, but it can also be a problem for someone looking for a deeper connection. Dating and relationships are hard work, and choosing just one right option to put your effort into might be hard. Also, more singles mean higher competition, especially for those who are not self-confident enough to compete. Therefore, lots of American singles prefer to stay away from dating while struggling with loneliness at the same time.
Roles become different
In the past, people used to have a better understanding of what to expect from their partners and spouses. Nowadays, breadwinners and housewives seem to be relict. Women more often prefer to build their careers, and men sometimes choose to look after kids and stay at home. And while it’s possible to find someone who suits your preferences and needs perfectly, it might need way more time and effort to do that. It might be even harder for those who aren’t sure what they prefer their relationship to look like, and what they expect from their partners to do.
Mixed expectations
Speaking about expectations, people also seem to get mixed signals about what their potential partners might want in relationships. Does a woman want an alpha bodybuilder, businessman, and breadwinner, or does she want a sensitive, warm-hearted partner who might earn less but provide more emotional support and understanding? Does a modern man want a successful woman who makes her own money and goes 50\50, or does he prefer a trad wife who can cook anything from nothing and dreams of a huge family? No one seems to be sure about that. Moreover, lots of people prefer not to choose one – they want both, without even understanding how this might work.
Social media pressure
In the past, people used to ask their close friends and relatives for relationship advice, or go through everything alone, learning their lessons and making tough decisions based on their own experience. Nowadays, people get relationship advice from complete strangers online, self-proclaimed psychologists, and relationship coaches, and while sometimes this advice might be brilliant, you can’t know for sure. People are often told to expect more and have higher demands without being responsible for their own actions and expectations, which might lead to failure. People often expect their partners to be perfect, never making mistakes, and if they do make them, then strangers online can quickly explain why your relationship has no future.
Social anxiety
Social media tend to show us the best and the worst to keep us entertained. It’s easy to get low self-esteem and become socially anxious. We expect others to judge us more because of all the successful and beautiful people we see online, therefore we believe that we’re less worthy of love and acceptance because of our imperfections. American singles often don’t even try to approach someone they like because of their fear of failure. Even on a dating site for American singles, people might be scared of messaging attractive strangers. By doing nothing, people get nothing, and their loneliness and bitterness grow. Meanwhile, those who choose risk and use a dating site for American singles like https://www.dating.com/, succeed more often and meet their love.
The New Jersey Digest is a new jersey magazine that has chronicled daily life in the Garden State for over 10 years.