Love Quotes That Won’t Make You Nauseated

by Lauren Bull
VDay Quotes Heart


A decent love, like a decent holiday, should be a little funny, a little touching, and a little uncomfortable for everyone. This being February 14 and all, I’ve compiled some of my favorite words on the matter. I hope that not one makes you queasy. Happy Valentine’s Day!


Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it. Amy Sedaris, Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People


Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim


I thought, My love is so good, why isn't it calling the same thing back? Amy Hempel, “Nashville Gone to Ashes”


You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball


If you’re a woman and a guy’s ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it. Louis CK


Heaven help me. I love a psychotic! Margo Channing, All About Eve


I enjoy her around-ness. I'll go into her office and just sit. I wonder if she thinks, "What is he doing here?" I'm interested, stimulated; I just like watching her live her life. Quincy Jones had that fantastic line about being with his friend Ray Charles: "It was just good air." Jerry Seinfeld, speaking about his wife Jessica


I was in love! Of course, I knew it might only be physical infatuation. But you know how it is. One thinks it's love, and sometimes, once or twice in a lifetime, it is. Jonathan Ames, Wake Up, Sir!


Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one. Tina Fey, Bossypants


Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. James Baldwin


Nothing changes. The powerful keep the power. That's why they're called the powerful.This is similar to people's belief that love can overcome everything, that it has some special power. It doesn't. Except one on one. One on one, love is incredibly powerful. It is a beautiful thing. But if love had any power to change the world, it would have prevailed by now. Love can't change the world. It's nice. It's pleasant. It's better than hate. But it has no special power over things. It just feels good. Love yourself, find another person to love and feel good. George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?


Six out of seven days a week, I’m a very happily married man. I really love your mom. And on the seventh day, I want to bash my head into a wall, ‘cause I just don’t understand what I did that was wrong. That’s the most you can hope for.  Dad


It’s a lot of work loving anybody.  Mom


About the Author/s

All posts

Lauren is a neurotic writer living in Jersey City. She could watch Jacques Pépin slice an onion on an endless loop. She edits The Digest and The Digest Online. @ltbullington

Related Articles

Leave a Comment

Yes, I would like to receive emails from The Digest Online. Sign me up!

By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: New Jersey Digest. You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact