You know you’ve firmly settled into adulthood when you start judging other people based on their favorite alcohol or drink of choice, and that’s precisely what I plan to do here. Our go-to drink can be just as much of a statement as the outfit we choose to wear. Something about our alcohol preference alludes to a deeper connection to our character, personality, and behavior. It makes you wonder, what does your favorite alcohol say about you as a person? But on the other side of the coin, as adults, we should know by now that judgments and initial impressions are usually wrong. Still, we like to judge, maybe just a little bit in good fun.
Of course, not every alcohol or drink could make it, so I apologize in advance if your favorite isn’t mentioned below. I’m also prepared for some of you to get defensive here and rightly wonder why my opinion matters. That’s fair enough, but I’ve had my fair share of experience to give me some credibility, at least I think. But enough about me, let’s talk about what your favorite alcohol says about you.
We start with the obvious: wine drinkers are the social butterflies. More often than not, the wine drinker is pushing the conversation forward. This lively bunch can be both a blessing and a curse; they tend to be fearless, confident, and direct. Boundaries? This group has never heard of them. The wine drinker is the one who asks the kinds of questions that cause you to choke on your drink a little. Expect this group to add spice to the conversation when needed—but be ready for anything with them. We rely on their social prowess for as long as we have the wine lovers, but we all know the compatibility between wine and sleepiness.
Some of you, likely you red wine drinkers, probably want me to pump the brakes a little. Maybe the above statements offended you, and you don’t appreciate being lumped together with the “other” kind of wine people. It’s a fair point, but the wine group is relatively similar across the board. However, there are some slight differences in personality and behavior between the types that are worth mentioning.
Red wine drinkers are the snobs. On the outside, they’re sick of being labeled as such, but they secretly love it deep down. Red wine people are a confident bunch and don’t feel the need to change their ways for anyone. This group has undoubtedly been around the block in the world of drinking, and they prefer quality above all else.
White wine drinkers, however, are the talkative ones of the social butterflies. Have you ever seen someone with a glass of white wine sitting alone, not interacting with anyone? It just doesn’t happen. This group loves all people, except the red wine drinkers.
Then we have the rosé individuals; what a peculiar group you are. More often than not, the rosé drinkers are new to this game. Red wine likely feels like it’s burning their taste buds, and white wine is good but still a little sharp for them. Rosé drinkers are real wildcards. You can expect them to be novices in most cases, but be careful; some are experts in disguise.
Okay, I admit, I really struggled with this one. My initial thought was that it’s too early in this hard seltzer trend to really do this properly, yet given how prevalent it is in the American alcohol industry, it seemed like it had to be on here. Is it a glorified summer drink or something more? I can’t tell yet; I’m still trying to get a read on this group. We’ll need a little bit of capitalism magic to run its course first to find out who the real, long-term players are in this industry. For now, we’ll keep an eye out for you hard seltzer lovers out there; I’m sure there will be shade to throw in the near future.
What would this list be without talking about the beer drinkers? You’d expect this would be the least challenging group to get a read on, but the beer industry has been changing in leaps and bounds for much of the 21st century. We really have two categories for beer drinkers: the traditionalists and the craft beer drinkers. The line can be blurred at times between the two, but more often than not, we’re talking about entirely different people here.
Starting with the traditionalists. These are our stubborn ones. They simply do not care about your double-IPA, fruit-infused beer; give them their mass-produced, generic beer, and leave them the hell alone. This group isn’t swayed by conformity; instead, they’re driven by loyalty. They’ve been drinking the same old beer for 20-plus years now, and they’re not changing for anyone. I’d expect this group to care less about a piece looking into what your favorite alcohol says about you.
This group has the most stability, though. Their favorite beer has become like a substitute for water to them. They know their limits, they know how to pace themselves, and they like to be in control. If they’re sticking with their go-to beer, you can expect that they’ll keep their wits about them throughout the night. So say what you want about these stubborn folks, but they’re usually the ones calling the Ubers late at night. We can all use traditionalists in our corner.
Now to the infamous craft beer drinkers. Like hard seltzers, craft beer has been a massive disruptor in the beverage industry. The diehard craft beer people have one plan and one plan only every weekend: go to a brewery. A flight of beer brings tears to their eyes. The real craft beer drinkers have a knack for detail.
In 2020, they’re the new wine snobs. Out with tweed coats and in with scruffy beards and flannels. They can annoyingly talk your ear off about the brewing process for beers, but they mean well, usually. You have to be mindful of the veterans versus the novices for this group. Craft beer is generally higher in alcohol percentage, and many eager young bucks can forget that at times. But usually this group is well put together and still has a slight affinity for tradition, but with a bit of adventure thrown into the mix.
Now we’re getting personal. We’re on to my drink of choice. I must say, I had no idea how much beef people had with whiskey drinkers. It seems like the people who hate whiskey think those who drink it do so to make some kind of masculine, entitled statement. I can understand that because sometimes we get posers who are drinking it for looks rather than want. But everyone learns, you can’t play around with whiskey, or you might get ruffed up. Given that, it’s not surprising to see some commonalities among loyal whiskey drinkers, especially those who drink it straight up.
For one, whiskey drinkers tend to know their way around alcohol and have a respectable tolerance for it. Naturally, that can bring a snobby label with it, but I must say that’s a generalization. Yet so is this whole piece, so I can’t really complain. I just find it funny that I get labeled a snob for my whiskey affinity yet I’m still shopping at the dollar store and getting excited about 2-for-1 deals on Hot Pockets. But I digress.
Anyway, most whiskey drinkers are serious people. They’re most likely to be caught in either a deep conversation or sitting alone in a dark corner. They tend to be quiet observers and prefer it that way. But just give them some time; like the whiskey they’re drinking, they need to age a little bit before their true form comes out. If you get them started then before long, you won’t be able to shut them up, and you’ll wish you never lured them out of their dark, lifeless corner. This group can also be great for direct advice when you need it. They aren’t afraid to call it how they see it, especially if they already sipped some whiskey. And expect them to know their limit and when to call it quits; like I said, you don’t play with whiskey.
It should be noted that those whose go-to drink is a whiskey cocktail are much bigger wildcards. These individuals are focused on living in the moment, but not much besides that. They’ll likely be much more social than your typical on the rocks or neat kind of person, but they’re also more liable for a big late-night dropoff. The extra flavors in their cocktail takes away the reminder that they’re drinking remorseless whiskey. They’ll likely feel like they’re on top of the world, but you should aim to keep them reeled in a little bit. Whiskey packs a hidden punch.
The V in vodka stands for versatility. It’s almost impossible to have a “vodka drinkers” category because of how commonly consumed this alcohol is. Even those who don’t like vodka, like myself, will still drink vodka cocktails. With vodka, it’s less about what your favorite alcohol says about you and more about your preferred cocktail that makes the real statement.
Starting with vodka sodas, we have health-conscious individuals. Vodka soda drinkers simply want to drink without the adverse physical side effects of drinking. While the rest of us go for the greasy hangover food, they’ll be perfectly content with their avocado toast and kombucha tea. You do have to respect them; they don’t let their commitment to physical health get in the way of a good time. And you can bet they’ll have a good time; their low-calorie drink selection leaves them guilt-free all night at the bar. Expect this crowd to be lively and confident. This likely isn’t their first rodeo, and they (hopefully) know their limits by now. Just make sure they don’t confuse that clear vodka soda for water.
Then we have our vodka cranberry drinkers, a genuinely wild bunch. This group has one goal only: to have fun. They don’t hesitate to throw themselves right into the mix and usually onto the dance floor. Expect them to be the life of the party and to have an energy that’s nearly impossible to match. While they can be a little erratic, they really just want everyone else to have as much fun as they are. Don’t be surprised if they’re buying shots at some point either. Surely a fun group, but one to look out for as well.
There were so many vodka drinks to consider for this last option, so instead of trying to decide on one, I’ll use this as a brief opportunity to do a PSA: if vodka Red Bull is your drink of choice, go look in your mirror, then throw it out and buy a new one, because clearly, it’s not getting the job done. (Relax, I’m just playing, kind of.)
The definition of “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” Tequila drinkers are plain and straightforward, in that they all love to party. Personally, I don’t think the difference in tequila cocktails matters; if tequila is in your go-to drink, then you’re a wild one. Tequila drinkers have my utmost respect; they’re incredibly comfortable in their own skin. I tried it for a little bit, but it took about two mornings of waking up to Snapchat stories of me embarrassing myself on the dance floor to call it quits. For tequila drinkers, the word embarrassment is barely even in their vocabulary.
Tequila drinkers live in the moment and bring a fiery flair to any night out. But be prepared, they don’t like to be alone. Tequila drinkers love some shots and are always searching for companions to join them. This group may get themselves into trouble from time to time, but at the end of the day, they just want to live it up. Maybe they make some questionable decisions, but they’re almost always a happy bunch and a great time to be around. You have to respect it.
A quick note for the mezcal drinkers out there, the jury is still out on what your favorite alcohol says about you. Mezcal has shaken up the agave-dominated tequila industry in recent years. I’d expect this group to be similar to most tequila folks, but there’s something different about these mezcal folks that I can’t quite distinguish yet.
Now to the gin drinkers of the world, the most mysterious of them all. Gin drinkers love the fact that you can’t get a read on them, and they’re honestly probably just drinking gin to confuse you even more. This group’s usual label is the “intellectual” tag, which I can’t argue with. I mean, my mother drinks gin, so I don’t really have a choice but to agree here. The gin drinkers are likely experienced and value quality in their beverages. Expect this group to be more subdued on a night out, more likely hanging out with the whiskey drinkers than the tequila folks. Their mysteriousness usually brings about some great conversation if you can keep up. This group knows who they are and where they’re going, and chances are their professional life reflects that.
Gin & Tonic
While most of what was said holds true for gin drinkers, it must be noted that a shift has come about in recent years. This change is specifically present with gin and tonics. It seems that the desire to be labeled mysterious has influenced a new influx of gin and tonic drinkers—thanks hipsters. There’s a craft gin boom underway and with that has come a resurgence specifically with gin and tonics. It’ll be interesting to see how this group may or may not evolve over time given this trend.
If someone you’re with orders a gin drink, then expect not to know what the hell to think about them.
None of this Matters
Yep, you read that right, nothing I just said truly matters. The point is, don’t take this too seriously; remember, I’m a judgmental whiskey drinker who likes dark corners. What your favorite alcohol says about you as a person means nothing; you control who you are, not a beverage. So next time you order a drink, don’t worry about being looked down upon or what message you’re sending. Chances are the only real person judging you is the bartender, but they judge everyone, so who cares.
So, what do you think your favorite alcohol says about you? Let us know in the comments below.