About age and concentration
The so-called “adult places” are part of the surrounding world, and the child needs to get acquainted with them for development. Each child, depending on the family environment where he is formed, perceives such visits differently, and everyone also has his own readiness to be there. I know many mothers who have been walking with their child everywhere since birth. However, it is important to take into account periods of development so that both the parental need is satisfied and the child does not suffer.
CHILDREN UNDER 1.5 years old have unstable attention and need a mother. You can interest them by constantly switching attention and explanations, so the parent will have to deal with the child all the time. Being with the baby in public places will cause discomfort for both the parent and others. You won’t be able to fully enjoy visiting a museum, a concert or a cafe, the mother’s stress will grow and result in some kind of negativity towards the child. However, you can bring comfortable carriers from Snuggle Hunny so that your child can rest while you go about your business
At the age of one and a half to two years, the child is already able to concentrate on the action of interest to him, but not for more than two minutes. He still needs a constant change of activities, and he will be angry if he does not get the attention of his mother. At this age, you can take your child to those public places where he will have the opportunity to walk and explore the world. For example, in a museum or an exhibition, in a cafe. The baby will move – parents will not be able to sit still either.
AT THREE-FOUR, the child begins to test reality and understand that he is among other people. He can hold attention for up to 30 minutes if something interests him. For example, to watch enthusiastically how mom is getting a manicure or dad’s haircut, to look with curiosity at the plot unfolding on the stage. At this age, the child can be taken to exhibitions, cafes, beauty salons, concerts, cinemas, museums – to those places that are easy to leave after 30 minutes.
AT THE AGE OF FOUR-FIVE YEARS, children have almost completely formed concepts of what can and cannot be done in a public place. They can get carried away for an hour, you can agree with them how to behave. Usually, children accompany their parents with pleasure: each trip is perceived as an adventure, an opportunity to learn something new.
About kids at work
Most often, children are brought to work for two reasons. The first – there is no one to leave with (the kindergarten is being renovated for school holidays), the second – when the child becomes curious about what the parent is doing all day. A visit to work will expand the child’s horizons: he will observe a special subculture called “mom or dad’s work team”, see that adults have their own lives and interests, and form an idea about the work process. However, it is important not to abuse it and not turn it into a systematic action. I think 2-3 visits a year will not disrupt the workflow of parents.
If you decide to take your child with you to work, it is important:
- agree with him about how much time he will spend there, what he will do
- in order to avoid conflict situations, warn management and colleagues that you intend to bring a child
- if possible, do not plan important meetings, negotiations for this day, but engage in activities that will make it possible to be distracted.
About comments to other people’s children and their parents
By reprimanding a child about his behavior or a parent about raising his child, you start the process of penetration into other people’s boundaries. This leads to fear, anger and guilt. On the other hand, a stranger is sometimes forced to take on the function of a parent when they are unwilling or unable to respond to the dangerous behavior of the child – for himself or for others.
Before you decide to intervene and reprimand someone else’s child or parent, determine for yourself the following:
IS THE SITUATION CRITICAL and dangerous. For example, a child can injure himself or another person, spoil something. The purpose of the remark would then be to stop the unsafe behavior. For example, if some kid on the playground beats up yours, I don’t think you’ll go looking for his parents to tell them about it.
DO YOU THINK THAT THE CHILD’S BEHAVIOR IS NOT compliant with the rules accepted for a public place. For example, he speaks loudly, screams, runs, throws sand, stains the clothes of people nearby with his shoes. The purpose of the remark in this case is to protect your comfort, your boundaries. It is better to express this to the parent, so as not to injure the child, not to undermine parental authority. But be prepared for the fact that foreign parents also have the right to protect their boundaries and parenting methods.
About the Author/s
The New Jersey Digest is a new jersey magazine that has chronicled daily life in the Garden State for over 10 years.